Fantastic Fables

by Ambrose Bierce

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Two Footpads

Two Footpads sat at their grog in a roadside resort, comparing the evening's adventures.

"I stood up the Chief of Police," said the First Footpad, "and I got away with what he had."

"And I," said the Second Footpad, "stood up the United States District Attorney, and got away with - "

"Good Lord!" interrupted the other in astonishment and admiration - "you got away with what that fellow had?"

"No," the unfortunate narrator explained - "with a small part of what I had."

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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.