The Merry Wives of Windsor

by William Shakespeare

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ACT III - Scene II

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The street in Windsor

Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN

Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were
wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether
had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than
follow him like a dwarf.

O, you are a flattering boy; now I see you'll be a
courtier.

Enter FORD

Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?

Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of
company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two
would marry.

Be sure of that-two other husbands.

Where had you this pretty weathercock?

I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my
husband had him of. What do you call your knight's
name, sirrah?

Sir John Falstaff.

Sir John Falstaff!

He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such
a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at
home indeed?

Indeed she is.

By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see her.

Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ROBIN

Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any
thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why,
this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon
will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces out his wife's
inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage; and
now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A
man may hear this show'r sing in the wind. And Falstaff's
boy with her! Good plots! They are laid; and our revolted
wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him,
then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty
from the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself
for a secure and wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings
all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes]
The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me
search; there I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather prais'd
for this than mock'd; for it is as positive as the earth is firm
that Falstaff is there. I will go.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS, CAIUS, and RUGBY

Well met, Master Ford.

Trust me, a good knot; I have good cheer at home,
and I pray you all go with me.

I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with
Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more
money than I'll speak of.

We have linger'd about a match between Anne
Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have
our answer.

I hope I have your good will, father Page.

You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you. But
my wife, Master Doctor, is for you altogether.

Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a
Quickly tell me so mush.

What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers,
he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks
holiday, he smells April and May; he will carry 't, he will
carry 't; 'tis in his buttons; he will carry 't.

Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is
of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and
Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No,
he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of
my substance; if he take her, let him take her simply; the
wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes
not that way.

I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me
to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will
show you a monster. Master Doctor, you shall go; so shall
you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.

Well, fare you well; we shall have the freer
wooing at Master Page's.

Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER

Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.

Exit RUGBY

Farewell, my hearts; I will to my honest knight
Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

Exit HOST

[Aside] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with
him. I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

Have with you to see this monster.

Exeunt