Dom Casmurro

by Machado de Assis


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XXXVII - The Soul is Full of Mysteries


Father Cabral was waiting a long time ago?

"I did not give a license today; I had a vacation.

I explained the reason for the vacation. I also told him that Father Cabral had spoken of my entrance into the seminary, supporting my mother's resolution, and said of her ugly and hard things. Capitú reflected for some time, and ended up asking me if I could go and refresh the priest in the afternoon at my house.

"But for what?"

Papa must naturally want to go too, but it is better that he go to the priest's house; it's prettier. Not me, I'm already half-girl, she finished laughing.

Laughter cheered me up. The words seemed to be a joke to herself, since, since morning, she was a woman, as I was a man. I found it amusing, and to say it all, I wanted to prove to her that I was a whole girl. I took him lightly on his right hand, then on his left, and I was amazed and shaken. It was the idea with hands. To pull Capitú's strings, to oblige her to come after them, but even now the action did not respond to the intention. However, I found myself strong and bold. He did not imitate anyone; I did not live with boys, to teach me anecdotes of love. I did not know Lucrecia's violation. Of the Romans only knew that they spoke for the art of the priest Pereira and were patricians of Pontius Pilate. I do not deny that the end of the morning hairstyle was a great step on the path of loving movement, but the gesture of that time was just the opposite of this. In the morning, she melted her head, now I was running away; nor is it the only way in which the bids differ; At another point, there seemed to be repetition, there was contrast.

I think I threatened to pull her to me. I do not swear, I was beginning to be so upset that I could not be fully aware of my actions; but I think so, because she retreated and tried to take her hands off mine; then, perhaps because he could not retreat any more, he placed one of his feet back and the other behind, and ran away with his bust. It was this gesture that forced me to hold her hands tightly. The bust finally fell and gave way, but the head did not want to give in too, and, falling back and forth, rendered useless all my efforts, because I was already making efforts, my friend. Not knowing the license of Cantico, I did not go to extend my left hand under her head; This gesture supposes an agreement of wills, and Capitú, who was resisting me now, would take advantage of the gesture to pluck his other hand and escape me entirely. We remained in that fight, without a sound, because despite the attack and the defense, we did not lose the necessary caution so we would not be heard from within; the soul is full of mysteries. Now I know he was pulling her; the head continued to retreat, until it knocked; but then it was Bocca's turn. The mouth of Capitú began a reverse movement, relative to mine, going to one side, when I sought it from the opposite side. In that disagreement we were, without daring a little more, and a little more ...

On this we hear knock on the door and talk in the hallway. It was Capitú's father, who returned from the office a little earlier, as he sometimes did. «Open, Nanata! Capitú, open! "Apparently it was the same thing in the morning when his mother came upon us, but only apparently; in truth, it was another. Consider that in the morning everything was finished, and D. Fortunata's step was a warning for us to compute ourselves. Now we fought with our fisted hands, and nothing was even begun.

We heard the bolt of the door leading to the inner corridor; it was the mother who opened it. I, once I confess everything, I say here that I did not have time to let go of the hands of my friend; I thought to myself, but I did, but Captain, before his father had just come in, made an unexpected gesture, put his mouth to my mouth, and gave me what he was unwilling to force. I repeat, the soul is full of mysteries.

 

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