ACT IV - Scene II Henry VI, Part II

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Blackheath.

	Enter George Bevis* and John Holland.*
Bevis	Come, and get thee a sword, though made of a lath: they have been up these two days.
Holland	They have the more need to sleep now, then.
Bevis	I tell thee, Jack Cade the clothier means to dress the commonwealth, and turn it, and set a new nap upon it.
Holland	So he had need, for ’tis threadbare. Well, I say it was never merry world in England since gentlemen came up.
Bevis	O miserable age! virtue is not regarded in handicrafts-men.
Holland	The nobility think scorn to go in leather aprons.
Bevis	Nay, more, the king’s council are no good workmen.
Holland	True; and yet it is said, labour in thy vocation; which is as much to say as, let the magistrates be labouring men; and therefore should we be magistrates.
Bevis	Thou hast hit it; for there’s no better sign of a brave mind than a hard hand.
Holland	I see them! I see them! there’s Best’s son, the tanner of Wingham⁠—
Bevis	He shall have the skin of our enemies, to make dog’s-leather of.
Holland	And Dick the Butcher⁠—
Bevis	Then is sin struck down like an ox, and iniquity’s throat cut like a calf.
Holland	And Smith the weaver⁠—
Bevis	Argo, their thread of life is spun.
Holland	Come, come, let’s fall in with them.
	Drum. Enter Cade, Dick* the Butcher, Smith the Weaver, and a Sawyer, with infinite numbers.*
Cade	We John Cade, so termed of our supposed father⁠—
Dick	Aside. Or rather, of stealing a cade of herrings.
Cade	For our enemies shall fall before us, inspired with the spirit of putting down kings and princes⁠—Command silence.
Dick	Silence!
Cade	My father was a Mortimer⁠—
Dick	Aside. He was an honest man, and a good bricklayer.
Cade	My mother a Plantagenet⁠—
Dick	Aside. I knew her well; she was a midwife.
Cade	My wife descended of the Lacies⁠—
Dick	Aside. She was, indeed, a peddler’s daughter, and sold many laces.
Smith	Aside. But now of late, notable to travel with her furred pack, she washes bucks here at home.
Cade	Therefore am I of an honourable house.
Dick	Aside. Ay, by my faith, the field is honourable; and there was he borne, under a hedge, for his father had never a house but the cage.
Cade	Valiant I am.
Smith	Aside. A’ must needs; for beggary is valiant.
Cade	I am able to endure much.
Dick	Aside. No question of that; for I have seen him whipped three market-days together.
Cade	I fear neither sword nor fire.
Smith	Aside. He need not fear the sword; for his coat is of proof.
Dick	Aside. But methinks he should stand in fear of fire, being burnt i’ the hand for stealing of sheep.
Cade	Be brave, then; for your captain is brave, and vows reformation. There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny: the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink small beer: all the realm shall be in common; and in Cheapside shall my palfrey go to grass: and when I am king, as king I will be⁠—
All	God save your majesty!
Cade	I thank you, good people: there shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree like brothers and worship me their lord.
Dick	The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.
Cade	Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment? that parchment, being scribbled o’er, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings: but I say, ’tis the bee’s wax; for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since. How now! who’s there?
	Enter some, bringing forward the Clerk of Chatham.
Smith	The clerk of Chatham: he can write and read and cast accompt.
Cade	O monstrous!
Smith	We took him setting of boys’ copies.
Cade	Here’s a villain!
Smith	Has a book in his pocket with red letters in’t.
Cade	Nay, then, he is a conjurer.
Dick	Nay, he can make obligations, and write court-hand.
Cade	I am sorry for’t: the man is a proper man, of mine honour; unless I find him guilty, he shall not die. Come hither, sirrah, I must examine thee: what is thy name?
Clerk	Emmanuel.
Dick	They use to write it on the top of letters: ’twill go hard with you.
Cade	Let me alone. Dost thou use to write thy name? or hast thou a mark to thyself, like an honest plain-dealing man?
Clerk	Sir, I thank God, I have been so well brought up that I can write my name.
All	He hath confessed: away with him! he’s a villain and a traitor.
Cade	Away with him, I say! hang him with his pen and ink-horn about his neck. Exit one with the Clerk.
	Enter Michael.
Michael	Where’s our general?
Cade	Here I am, thou particular fellow.
Michael	Fly, fly, fly! Sir Humphrey Stafford and his brother are hard by, with the king’s forces.
Cade	Stand, villain, stand, or I’ll fell thee down. He shall be encountered with a man as good as himself: he is but a knight, is a’?
Michael	No.
Cade	To equal him, I will make myself a knight presently. Kneels. Rise up Sir John Mortimer. Rises. Now have at him!
	Enter Sir Humphrey Stafford* and his Brother, with drum and soldiers.*
Stafford	Rebellious hinds, the filth and scum of Kent, Mark’d for the gallows, lay your weapons down; Home to your cottages, forsake this groom: The king is merciful, if you revolt.
Brother	But angry, wrathful, and inclined to blood, If you go forward; therefore yield, or die.
Cade	As for these silken-coated slaves, I pass not: It is to you, good people, that I speak, Over whom, in time to come, I hope to reign; For I am rightful heir unto the crown.
Stafford	Villain, thy father was a plasterer; And thou thyself a shearman, art thou not?
Cade	And Adam was a gardener.
Brother	And what of that?
Cade	Marry, this: Edmund Mortimer, Earl of March, Married the Duke of Clarence’ daughter, did he not?
Stafford	Ay, sir.
Cade	By her he had two children at one birth.
Brother	That’s false.
Cade	Ay, there’s the question; but I say, ’tis true: The elder of them, being put to nurse, Was by a beggar-woman stolen away; And, ignorant of his birth and parentage, Became a bricklayer when he came to age: His son am I; deny it, if you can.
Dick	Nay, ’tis too true; therefore he shall be king.
Smith	Sir, he made a chimney in my father’s house, and the bricks are alive at this day to testify it; therefore deny it not.
Stafford	And will you credit this base drudge’s words, That speaks he knows not what?
All	Ay, marry, will we; therefore get ye gone.
Brother	Jack Cade, the Duke of York hath taught you this.
Cade	Aside. He lies, for I invented it myself. Go to, sirrah, tell the king from me, that, for his father’s sake, Henry the Fifth, in whose time boys went to span-counter for French crowns, I am content he shall reign; but I’ll be protector over him.
Dick	And furthermore, well have the Lord Say’s head for selling the dukedom of Maine.
Cade	And good reason; for thereby is England mained, and fain to go with a staff, but that my puissance holds it up. Fellow kings, I tell you that that Lord Say hath gelded the commonwealth, and made it an eunuch: and more than that, he can speak French; and therefore he is a traitor.
Stafford	O gross and miserable ignorance!
Cade	Nay, answer, if you can: the Frenchmen are our enemies; go to, then, I ask but this: can he that speaks with the tongue of an enemy be a good counsellor, or no?
All	No, no; and therefore we’ll have his head.
Brother	Well, seeing gentle words will not prevail, Assail them with the army of the king.
Stafford	Herald, away; and throughout every town Proclaim them traitors that are up with Cade; That those which fly before the battle ends May, even in their wives’ and children’s sight, Be hang’d up for example at their doors: And you that be the king’s friends, follow me. Exeunt the two Staffords, and soldiers.
Cade	And you that love the commons, follow me. Now show yourselves men; ’tis for liberty. We will not leave one lord, one gentleman: Spare none but such as go in clouted shoon; For they are thrifty honest men and such As would, but that they dare not, take our parts.
Dick	They are all in order and march toward us.
Cade	But then are we in order when we are most out of order. Come, march forward. Exeunt.

ACT IV - Scene II Henry VI, Part II

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