ACT V - Scene II Troilus and Cressida
The same. Before Calchas’ tent.
| Enter Diomedes. | |
| Diomedes | What, are you up here, ho? speak. |
| Calchas | Within. Who calls? |
| Diomedes | Calchas, I think. Where’s your daughter? |
| Calchas | Within. She comes to you. |
| Enter Troilus and Ulysses, at a distance; after them, Thersites. | |
| Ulysses | Stand where the torch may not discover us. |
| Enter Cressida. | |
| Troilus | Cressid comes forth to him. |
| Diomedes | How now, my charge! |
| Cressida | Now, my sweet guardian! Hark, a word with you. Whispers. |
| Troilus | Yea, so familiar! |
| Ulysses | She will sing any man at first sight. |
| Thersites | And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff; she’s noted. |
| Diomedes | Will you remember? |
| Cressida | Remember! yes. |
| Diomedes |
Nay, but do, then;
|
| Troilus | What should she remember? |
| Ulysses | List. |
| Cressida | Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly. |
| Thersites | Roguery! |
| Diomedes | Nay, then— |
| Cressida | I’ll tell you what— |
| Diomedes | Foh, foh! come, tell a pin: you are forsworn. |
| Cressida | In faith, I cannot: what would you have me do? |
| Thersites | A juggling trick—to be secretly open. |
| Diomedes | What did you swear you would bestow on me? |
| Cressida |
I prithee, do not hold me to mine oath;
|
| Diomedes | Good night. |
| Troilus | Hold, patience! |
| Ulysses | How now, Trojan! |
| Cressida | Diomed— |
| Diomedes | No, no, good night: I’ll be your fool no more. |
| Troilus | Thy better must. |
| Cressida | Hark, one word in your ear. |
| Troilus | O plague and madness! |
| Ulysses |
You are moved, prince; let us depart, I pray you,
|
| Troilus | Behold, I pray you! |
| Ulysses |
Nay, good my lord, go off:
|
| Troilus | I pray thee, stay. |
| Ulysses | You have not patience; come. |
| Troilus |
I pray you, stay; by hell and all hell’s torments,
|
| Diomedes | And so, good night. |
| Cressida | Nay, but you part in anger. |
| Troilus |
Doth that grieve thee?
|
| Ulysses | Why, how now, lord! |
| Troilus |
By Jove,
|
| Cressida | Guardian!—why, Greek! |
| Diomedes | Foh, foh! adieu; you palter. |
| Cressida | In faith, I do not: come hither once again. |
| Ulysses |
You shake, my lord, at something: will you go?
|
| Troilus | She strokes his cheek! |
| Ulysses | Come, come. |
| Troilus |
Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word:
|
| Thersites | How the devil Luxury, with his fat rump and potato-finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry! |
| Diomedes | But will you, then? |
| Cressida | In faith, I will, la; never trust me else. |
| Diomedes | Give me some token for the surety of it. |
| Cressida | I’ll fetch you one. Exit. |
| Ulysses | You have sworn patience. |
| Troilus |
Fear me not, sweet lord;
|
| Reenter Cressida. | |
| Thersites | Now the pledge; now, now, now! |
| Cressida | Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve. |
| Troilus | O beauty! where is thy faith? |
| Ulysses | My lord— |
| Troilus | I will be patient; outwardly I will. |
| Cressida |
You look upon that sleeve; behold it well.
|
| Diomedes | Whose was’t? |
| Cressida |
It is no matter, now I have’t again.
|
| Thersites | Now she sharpens: well said, whetstone! |
| Diomedes | I shall have it. |
| Cressida | What, this? |
| Diomedes | Ay, that. |
| Cressida |
O, all you gods! O pretty, pretty pledge!
|
| Diomedes | I had your heart before, this follows it. |
| Troilus | I did swear patience. |
| Cressida |
You shall not have it, Diomed; faith, you shall not;
|
| Diomedes | I will have this: whose was it? |
| Cressida | It is no matter. |
| Diomedes | Come, tell me whose it was. |
| Cressida |
’Twas one’s that loved me better than you will.
|
| Diomedes | Whose was it? |
| Cressida |
By all Diana’s waiting-women yond,
|
| Diomedes |
To-morrow will I wear it on my helm,
|
| Troilus |
Wert thou the devil, and worest it on thy horn,
|
| Cressida |
Well, well, ’tis done, ’tis past: and yet it is not;
|
| Diomedes |
Why, then, farewell;
|
| Cressida |
You shall not go: one cannot speak a word,
|
| Diomedes | I do not like this fooling. |
| Thersites | Nor I, by Pluto: but that that likes not you pleases me best. |
| Diomedes | What, shall I come? the hour? |
| Cressida | Ay, come:—O Jove!—do come:—I shall be plagued. |
| Diomedes | Farewell till then. |
| Cressida |
Good night, I prithee, come. Exit Diomedes.
|
| Thersites |
A proof of strength she could not publish more,
|
| Ulysses | All’s done, my lord. |
| Troilus | It is. |
| Ulysses | Why stay we, then? |
| Troilus |
To make a recordation to my soul
|
| Ulysses | I cannot conjure, Trojan. |
| Troilus | She was not, sure. |
| Ulysses | Most sure she was. |
| Troilus | Why, my negation hath no taste of madness. |
| Ulysses | Nor mine, my lord: Cressid was here but now. |
| Troilus |
Let it not be believed for womanhood!
|
| Ulysses | What hath she done, prince, that can soil our mothers? |
| Troilus | Nothing at all, unless that this were she. |
| Thersites | Will he swagger himself out on’s own eyes? |
| Troilus |
This she? no, this is Diomed’s Cressida:
|
| Ulysses |
May worthy Troilus be half attach’d
|
| Troilus |
Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged well
|
| Thersites | He’ll tickle it for his concupy. |
| Troilus |
O Cressid! O false Cressid! false, false, false!
|
| Ulysses |
O, contain yourself;
|
| Enter Aeneas. | |
| Aeneas |
I have been seeking you this hour, my lord:
|
| Troilus |
Have with you, prince. My courteous lord, adieu.
|
| Ulysses | I’ll bring you to the gates. |
| Troilus | Accept distracted thanks. Exeunt Troilus, Aeneas, and Ulysses. |
| Thersites | Would I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode. Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence of this whore: the parrot will not do more for an almond than he for a commodious drab. Lechery, lechery; still, wars and lechery; nothing else holds fashion: a burning devil take them! Exit. |